BERT OLIVA’S BLOG

How is what you’re doing working for you? Think about it. Where are you spending most of your time? What are the things you are doing most often? How is this working for you?

Be honest. Is it working? Or are you doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results? That is what Einstein called a form of insanity.

Many of us want different and/or better things in our lives, but we do not want to change what we are doing in our lives in order to achieve these things. We tend to look at our current habits and actions and think they are working for us. We actually lie to ourselves because it is easier to keep the status quo and stay with the familiar than to venture out into the unknown.

This is human nature; however, if you want different things in your life, now is the time for you to take a step back and truly look at what you have been doing and whether it is working for you.
If it hasn’t, then you have to change it. Now. Not tomorrow. Not next week or next month. Change it now. You need to change it now if you want results.

It is easy to say “Tomorrow. I will start tomorrow.” Yet, as we all know, tomorrow is not promised. You never know what is in store for you tomorrow. If you want to change something, the only time you can begin that change is right now, this very instant. If not, you will look back and before you know it, days, weeks, months, and even years will have gone by and you will be stuck in the same place doing the same things still expecting different results.

Do not waste the opportunity you have right now. Create that change today.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

There is a rule known as the 33% of People Rule, which basically states that there are three levels of people you should have in your life. The first third are the ones who are “beneath” you. This is not a judgment call on you being “better” than others, but rather a judgment on where people are in their lives. Those who are in this first level do not have the same goals that you do, are not as motivated as you, etc. However, this first level is important because these are the people that keep you motivated, that make you feel good, and that tell you what you want to hear. This helps to feed your ego and keep you going, especially in the hard times.

The second third are those people who are at your same level. They are striving for similar goals and are in similar places in their lives. These are the people who you can go back and forth with about ideas and topics. These are the people that are pushing in the same direction you are and help to keep you pushing toward your goals.

The third level consists of those people who are “above” you. These the people who make you feel uncomfortable because they already have what you are striving for. They have the lifestyle you want, the relationships you want, etc. These are the people who you look up to and who you strive to be like. It is important that they make you feel uncomfortable because it is only outside our comfort zones that we grow.

Throughout our lives, as we grow, the people in these three levels change and grow with us. So many speakers, coaches, and books will tell you to leave your friends behind when you are working on a change within yourself. I completely disagree with this statement. If you haven’t been able to achieve what you want with the friends you have, what makes you think you’re going to be able to do it alone?

Do not change your friends. As you change, they will either evolve with you or they will leave you. And both options are okay. Remember, people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. And as you start to live by the 33% People Rule, you will actually become comfortable through this entire process as you continue to grow and focus on your new life, new career, and new way of living.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

Habits are the basis of all human nature. Truly. The way we learned to walk was trying again and again until we were able to do it and then eventually mastered it. It became a habit. The same can be said for learning to talk, riding a bike, or any of the other hundreds of things you do on a regular basis. Everything you do on a regular basis is a habit that you have perfected.

Now, the word “habit” is neither positive nor negative. We all have habits we consider good and we all have habits that we consider bad. However, both are created the same way in our brains—through consistent practice and repetition.

There is a quote that says something to the effect of, “Bad habits are easy to acquire and hard to break. However, good habits are hard to acquire and easy to break.” Truly, this phrase should be rewritten as “Old habits are easy to acquire and hard to break. New habits are hard to acquire and easy to break.” This is because the habits that have been ingrained in us for years have become part of our internal programming. Learning new habits, especially ones that counteract our older habits, takes a lot of discipline, determination, and dedication.

However, new habits can be formed. Studies have shown that it takes at least 21 days to change or create a habit. This is 21 consecutive days, including weekends and holidays. So whatever it is you want to change in your life, now is the time to start. Choose one habit that you want to create—one that is going to increase the quality of life you have today—and do it for the next 21 days. Start right now. Make today day one.

If you do this, 21 days from now you will see a shift that will become a positive part of your life.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

What comes to mind when you hear someone state the phrase, “I’m proud”? Do you feel happy for the person? Jealous? Do you think the person is arrogant or entitled?

Society has taught us that pride is not really a good thing. Oftentimes we immediately rush to judgment on someone who is proud and states it to the world.

However, pride—within moderation—is a necessity. To achieve anything in this world, you must take pride in yourself and do everything with pride. If you want the world to respect you and support you, you must be certain of who you are and for what you stand. Do not be embarrassed to share your message, goals, and dreams.

Have certainty in all that you do. It will not always be easy. And human nature tends to have us hide in the shadows till we feel truly successful. We don’t want to set ourselves up for failure. What if our efforts are for nothing? Isn’t it nicer for us to fail in the shadows where no one knows?

No. In Spanish we have a saying, “el que no llora no mama,” which literally means a baby that doesn’t cry will not eat. Basically, those who do not ask, will not get anything. To be truly successful, you need the support of others—your loved ones, your colleagues, your clients, the public. That support is what is going to make the difference and sky rocket you to your ultimate success. You must be vocal to get that support though.

Yes, your efforts may not be an utter success right away, but telling the world will push you to work that much harder on your efforts. And those who know what you are working toward will hold you accountable to what you have committed yourself. Foster pride and certainty within yourself. People will resonate with those feelings. You can not expect to grow and expand yourself if you are going to keep everything you want all to yourself.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

Quote This:
“It’s a fine thing to rise above pride, but you must have pride in order to do so.” –Georges Bernanos

What is taking up residence in your mind right now? Are you allowing worries, regrets, and “what if’s” to rent space free of charge? Thich Nhat Hanh calls this “radio Non Stop Thinking (NST)” in his book Silence: The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise.

For most of us, we have this radio NST on our minds all the time. From the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep, and many times this continuous train of thoughts will even keep us from going to sleep. Sometimes they even permeate our dreams and keep us from sleeping well. We allow our subconscious minds to rule us.

Our minds are amazing. They are spectacular. They have more abilities than we will ever be able to tap into; however, we can tap into quite a bit if we just train our minds slightly. Timber Hawkeye, author of Buddhist Bootcamp, likens the mind to that of an excitable puppy on a walk; it jumps from thought to thought, and is difficult to control. Yet, like a puppy, our minds can be trained; most of us just do not take the time to train our minds so we can turn off radio NST.

The best way to begin to train our minds is through meditation. For many, the word “meditation” conjures images of men in robes sitting cross-legged on pillows and chanting a mantra in unison. Though this type of traditional meditation is still very popular and very effective, it is not the only type. Moreover, in our modern world where we are constantly connected and tend to not be able to find even a moment for ourselves during the day, this type of traditional sitting meditation may seem daunting to even start.

Thankfully, there are many different types of meditation. And, when done properly, all are just as effective to quieting your mind and finding your inner peace. Any act can be done meditatively if you simply allow yourself to focus on the task at hand and do not allow your mind to wander. If your mind does wander, realize it is, and put your attention back on the task at hand. Just like training a puppy to walk next to you, your mind will slowly learn to focus fully on the task at hand and little by little you will find less thoughts intruding on you.

For instance, if you are in a staff meeting, be fully present in the staff meeting, listen to your colleagues fully, and take in everything that is happening. If thoughts such as “Ugh, when will this end? I have so many other things to do…” or anything else pop into your mind, simply acknowledge the thought and go back to focusing on the meeting at hand.

No matter how you choose to meditate, do not discount the practice. Learning to be able to focus fully for yourself is a priceless tool. Once you get skilled at it, it is tool that you can call upon in any situation, no matter how stressful or difficult. Additionally, it’s incredibly nice to be able to fully enjoy really happy and pleasant situations without other worries, etc. creeping in to ruin the time.

I challenge you to give meditation a try this week. Let me know what you find when you truly quiet your mind, even if it just a moment or two. It may surprise you.

Live Life,

Bert Oliva

We all want to be leaders. A leader of our community. A leader in our workplace. A thought leader. The idea of being a leader appeals to us psychologically because we want to be in control.

However, to truly be a great leader, we must first learn how to follow. No matter where you are in your life, there is someone whose example you can and should follow, even if it is just for a moment or two.

There are times when I follow my children’s leads and even my students’ leads. I consciously place myself in a follower role on a regular basis throughout my week. I enjoy being a follower. It gives you a new perspective and new ideas. Moreover, subconsciously speaking, when we allow ourselves to be a follower, we take off some of the invisible stress we place on ourselves when we are attempting to lead all the time. By removing this stress, we become more open-minded and creative.

There are five levels of leadership according to the Office of Personnel Management and the first one is self leadership. This means that you must first learn to lead yourself before you can be a leader at any of the other levels. Allowing yourself to be led by others whom you wish to be more like is a good step toward learning to lead yourself.

So, this week, I challenge you to find at least one person whom you can follow. Consciously put yourself in the follower role and see what lessons you learn and what ideas are cultivated.

Live Life,

Bert Oliva

Quote this:
“He who can not be a good follower can not be a good leader.” – Aristotle

Why me? Why is my life so hard? Why does this always happen to me?

Do you know of anyone who is a victim in their own life? Someone who continuously complains and asks “why me” all of the time? Odds are, you probably do. In fact, odds are, there are at least moments in your own life where you allow yourself to be a victim.

Not every situation in our lives is perfect. Many of them are down right painful. But harping on the negative things that happen in our lives does nothing but bring more negativity to us. We are each magnets. Whatever we focus on we become charged with and we attract more of that into our lives.

No matter what happens, do not allow yourself to continue to focus on the bad things that occur in your life. Instead look for the positive. There is always something positive, even if it is simply a lesson to be learned from a bad situation.

The beauty of our lives is that we are not victims. We always have a choice. We are in charge of our own lives. We always can decide what we want to put our energies toward.

Stop giving your power to other people, situations, and circumstances. You are in charge of your own life.

Live Life,

Bert Oliva

One of my favorite quotes is “Live life, don’t let life live you.” However what does it mean to truly live life? What is your definition?

My definition of living life is not just merely existing but experiencing every single aspect of life fully. Instead of allowing yourself to blow around in the winds of life’s situations like a fallen leaf, you choose your actions and how you will react to life’s situations. Whether you are going through an amazing situation or even a very painful one, you allow yourself to feel every extent of your emotions.

The truth of the matter is that we are the creators of our own lives. Yes things happen in each of our lives that we are not in control of, but we can choose how we react to those situations. There is an opportunity in everything we face, but to take advantage of those opportunities we must live our lives as active participants. We must take responsibility and stop allowing ourselves to be the victims of circumstances.

Today, I challenge you to be present in every moment of your day. Allow yourself to feel everything. Allow yourself to realize how many things you have in your life to be grateful for. Allow yourself to realize just how powerful you are in your ability to create things in your life.

Live Life
Bert Oliva

So, how is your New Year going? Have you been able to keep the momentum going thus far? Or are you already finding yourself slipping backwards?

I love the New Year. It is such a powerful time. Not only is it a fresh start for you, but it is a fresh start for everyone, so you get to enjoy and tap into the momentum of everyone around you. Having people around you who are committed to making changes within themselves is very helpful if you want to succeed with your New Year’s resolutions or any commitments you make. This is because we all need support at times and we all need someone to push us when we are losing our momentum.

Do not lose the progress you have made already. Keep moving toward your goals and your commitments. Even if you have fallen backwards, begin again. Though it is no longer the first day of the New Year, you can start right now, this very moment. That is the beauty of us as human beings and the power we have within ourselves. We can always start again. All we need is to make a commitment to ourselves, create a plan, and start moving towards it.

I truly believe this is going to be your best year yet. You are going to achieve more than you set your mind to. Now it’s time for you to believe in yourself and take action.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva