Bert Oliva

I Don’t Like Me When I’m Angry

By Bert Oliva

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I have to admit, I get angry at times. There are moments when something happens or someone does something, and I get upset. I’m human. Anger is a normal emotional response to things. If you have ever met someone who says they do not get angry ever, then they are probably not being honest with themselves.

However, when I was younger, I would hold onto my anger in a righteous manner. I would almost feed my grudge until it was larger than it originally was. It would take my energy for days and ruin my mood and even affect those around me. The worst part was, when I would run across the person who had so upset me to begin with days or weeks later, they were usually fine and going on with their life. I was the one who was stuck in the black hole of my own negativity.

We are all composed of energy. And unfortunately, negativity seems to affect us more easily and longer than positivity. That is, it tends to take more positivity and more awareness on our part to focus on the positive to combat all the negativity that is around us every day. This is even more vital if we are creating and feeding that own negativity within ourselves.

The Buddha is quoted as saying, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Holding onto anger truly only affects the one holding onto it. The other people can choose to move on with their lives, but in order for you to, you must let it go.

PowerTools™
1) Are you holding onto any grudges right now? If so, it’s time to let it go. Realize it is in the past and focus on the positive.

2) The next time you get upset, allow yourself to feel it but then let it go. Do not feed the anger or keep making it bigger in your head. Remember, not everything will go your way all the time and that is okay.

3) For the next 21 days, wake up each morning and say one thing you are grateful for. Throughout the day, focus on that positive thing.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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Bert Oliva

Commit Me!

By Bert Oliva

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Ever have one of those days? I had a great Friday today. A day filled with excellent meetings that left me excited and ready for upcoming projects. And I ended it by spending time with close friends and playing some games. I even have an amazing Saturday planned, filled with breakfast plans and errands and fun things. I’ve been looking forward to my Saturday all day.

When I got home however, I discovered one of my family members is very ill. Not an emergency, but I have to take them to the doctor first thing tomorrow morning, which means my Saturday plans are now not possible. My family member’s illness of course takes precedence but I must admit I went through the normal gambit of human emotions: disappointment of the missed plans, resentment of the situation, justification of the situation, frustration and much more, till I finally just settled with it. It is what it is. I have a commitment to my family and that comes first.

Commitment is a big deal to me. I recently made a commitment to myself that I would write one blog post a day. Which is why I’m writing this at 2:58 in the morning. Just because situations and circumstances arise, there is no excuse to let your commitments slide. This is not because the people you’ve committed to will not understand your extenuating circumstances. This is for you. Subconsciously speaking, whenever you let yourself off the hook for something you’ve committed to, you begin to build a pattern of breaking commitments. You train your brain to not take commitments seriously, which makes making and keeping commitments that much harder.

Because of that, I am very careful with what I commit to; if I am not sure that I can fulfill something asked of me, I do not commit to it, but rather am honest, “I will do my best, but I can not guarantee I will be able to do it,” etc. This way I am honest with those around me and I am honest with myself. This builds trust with those close to you and trust within yourself. As you begin to become someone who fulfills their commitments, you will be surprised at how your confidence soars and how much better you feel about yourself overall.

So the next time you have one of those days where everything seems to be conspiring against you, take a moment to accept everything that is happening. And then get started on your commitments.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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