BERT OLIVA’S BLOG

What are the things that you truly appreciate in your life?

Do you normally take time to show appreciation to those closest to you? Presents do not have to accompany your actions, a simple dish, a sticky note in an unexpected place or even a handwritten note. There are so many ways to show someone that you appreciate them, even a simple unexpected lunch break can make someone’s day shine.

For those that seem to forget that really minuscule things can show you appreciate someone, here are some simple suggestions:
1) Do something without asking
2) Finish a chore for them
3) Prepare a bubble bath
4) Dedicate a song
5) Send a text message
6) Fill their tank with gas

For those of you in serious relationships do not forget that women need to feel appreciated in order to show appreciation for their men. Appreciation shows the other person that you value them. In this hectic world it is nice to think someone can do something nice for you and feel valued for it. But of course doing something nice for someone is rewarding in itself for you, do not expect something in return. Just like property, increasing someone’s self worth is value added to someone’s life.

Until next time.

A 2010 Wayne State University research project that examined the baseball cards photos of Major League players in 1952 found that the span of a player’s smile could actually predict the span of his life! Players who didn’t smile in their pictures lived an average of only 72.9 years, while players with beaming smiles lived an average of 79.9 years.

We are actually part of a naturally smiling species, that we can use our smiling powers to positively impact almost any social situation, and that smiling is really good for us.

Surprisingly, we’re actually born smiling. 3-D ultrasound technology now shows that developing babies appear to smile even in the womb. After they’re born, babies continue to smile (initially mostly in their sleep) and even blind babies smile in response to the sound of the human voice.

A smile is also one of the most basic, biologically uniform expressions of all humans. Paul Ekman (the world’s leading expert on facial expressions) discovered that smiles are cross-cultural and have the same meaning in different societies. In studies he conducted in Papua New Guinea, Ekman found that members of the Fore tribe (who were completely disconnected from Western culture and were also known for their unusual cannibalism rituals) attributed smiles to descriptions of situations in the same way you and I would.

Smiling is not just a universal means of communicating, it’s also a frequent one. More than 30% of us smile more than 20 times a day and less than 14% of us smile less than 5 times a day. In fact, those with the greatest superpowers are actually children, who smile as many as 400 times per day!

So now we know that:
When you smile, you look good and feel good.
When others see you smile, they smile too.
When others smile, they look good and feel good, too.
So now, whenever you want to look great and competent, improve your marriage, or reduce your stress…or whenever you want to feel as good as when you’ve enjoyed a stack of high quality chocolate without incurring the caloric cost, or as if you randomly found 25 grand in the pocket of a jacket you hadn’t worn for ages… or when you want to tap into a superpower and help yourself and others live longer, healthier happier lives…SMILE.

Until next time.

When is the last time you romanced yourself?

Picture this; your home alone, you get home from work and you get into very comfortable clothes (e.g. robe with sexy lingerie underneath or your favorite boxers). You turn on some candles and play your favorite music. You pour yourself a glass of your favorite wine and cook your favorite meal. Set a romantic dinner table (all the best dishes). Don’t forget turn off any cell phone or home phone, this time is all about you.

After your delicious meal, run a warm bath with aroma therapy. Don’t forget the tunes in the bathroom. After a long warm bath, make sure to have dessert waiting. Then slip into bed with your favorite movie. Of course all this takes some pre-planning but what are you waiting for?

Until next time.

Have you ever sat down to think about the people you surround yourself with? Your friends, associates, partners, or acquaintances? Just stop and think. In what ways do they influence your life? If society can shape your beliefs, decisions and actions, what about those people that are closest to you. People in general feel uncomfortable with change and this is especially true with social groups so it is important to have positive influences from those people around you.

I believe that life is always about learning. One of my favorite sources of information is people, so I am always looking for those that have something to teach. Remember, change is good, go out and find new friends, associates, acquaintances, and partners, and ask yourself what can this newfound friend or associate teach me on my journey through life. This doesn’t mean to drop existing relationships to make room, but if you have a relationship that is less than positive it may be worth considering. Remember any relationship, whether it is a significant other or just a new person you have befriended, is bound by mutual trust, respect, and encouragement so make sure it goes both ways.

For a constructive relationships, surround yourself with the type of person that will always point out your best qualities and congratulate you on your accomplishments. Not those that spend your time questioning your successes.

So here is your assignment for the week. Take a couple of minutes to find who your true friends are, then give them a call and let them know how much you really appreciate their friendship.

Until next time.

Patience means waiting and waiting is not something most people can do, yet it is one of the best ways to cure illnesses of many kinds. Patience or waiting is synonymous with complete relaxation. Patience implies acceptance and surrender to the forces around us.

For some, patience means we have to sit back and wait for an expected or unexpected outcome which causes anxiety. Human nature urges us to want instant gratification.

The development of patience requires a solid, peaceful center. We must be free from anxiety and tension, from the worries of life and to be stable in the mind and body. Very few people can actually wait for the right time and place, for just the right moment to act.

People who tend to be impatient seem to always have a big grudge on their shoulders. Or are the ones that tend to lose their cool with everyone for the smallest of things. Being upset does take a whole lot of energy from you. In doing so you also forget to count your blessings and lose the ability to attain the more important things in life.

How do you feel when you are impatient?

Learn to increase your patience, here are some techniques to help you further develop your patience:

• Take life one day at a time. Remember, the world was not created in a day.
• Do not dwell on your past mistakes and failings. Do not worry about what you will become or how you will act in the future. Begin to live each new day as a fresh start.
• Break larger goals down into components that are short term goals and objectives.
• Accept, understand, and forgive yourself for being fragile, imperfect, and weak. Love yourself. Let go of the anxieties, concern or self doubt.
• Wake up to the realities of life around you. Everyone with whom you come in contact is busy working through their own struggles, weaknesses, setbacks, relapses, crisis, and obstacles to their personal growth and recovery. All of us are on the path to personal growth. There is no one exempt from this journey. It takes a lifetime to complete.

When we have patience, we act with precision and skill. We listen and talk at the right moment, say what we want and have a higher degree of freedom within our thoughts. Learning patience will turn every situation into a positive, growth enhancing moment.

Until next time.

“Wax on, wax off.” That line was made famous in the movie, “The Karate Kid”. “Practice Is as Practice Does”. Practice does not guarantee skill, and repetition does not guarantee performance improvement. The greater the contact, the longer and easier the retention.

I believe that in life in order to get those things which you desire you must repeat constant action until you have mastered the art of success at whatever you have your heart set on.

To learn to walk we must keep trying and repeating the steps until we walk with ease for the rest of or lives.

To swim we must keep swimming. Golf, tennis, martial arts and music are all examples of activities that require repeated movements and drills. Even to sell we must keep knocking on those doors and to love we must keep loving.

Some will say, “But I never have stopped doing these things and I do not accomplish what I set out to do.” To them I say one very, very important thing, it is not practice that makes perfect but perfect practice that makes perfect. Learn to do it correctly before you continuing doing it at all. Ask for help, do your research, ask questions, do not just assume.

Einstein defined insanity as: “Doing the same things over and over again, and expecting different results.”

In our fast-paced world, it is common always to be looking for the newer, faster and/or better method. While there is much to be said about new techniques and new approaches to improving your new skills, you need practice. There are no short cuts.

Until next time.

Have we as a society forgotten what it is like to be a friendly neighbor? Gone are those times when our neighbors were our best friends, where we share in BBQ’s and the occasional wine bottle. We are so busy with our own lives that we forget or ignore the fact that we should have relationships with our neighbors.

There were times when we could depend on our neighbors to pick up our children from school, get the mail for us or check on our homes when we are gone. The problem is that we do not trust anymore. We are cocked and ready to accuse them of crimes and slam them with lawsuits.

This season I want you to make an effort to get to know your neighbors. Bake them a cake or some cookies, or share a glass of wine. Let’s pick up the spirit of our country and truly make an effort to reach out. We are all in this together, and there are more good people out there then you think.

Until next time.

Have the days of professionalism and courtesy passed us by? I wonder sometimes, if people forget that when they RSVP or commit to something it is common courtesy that they show up unless there has been a real emergency. If you make a commitment you should follow through.

Have you ever stopped to think how you can hinder the outcome for those you affect from your lack of courtesy or commitment? I always talk about trying something out in my seminars. TRY; there is a word that people use lightly. In Yoda language (Star Wars ancient Jedi master) “try is not, there is only DO!”

The definition of try is: conscious exertion of power or hard work. Try is a force of action, not a force of maybe.

How many of you really make an effort when you promise you will try to make it to the next meeting or get together? Let me ask you something when you include someone in your plans does it feel good when they let you down? Then you must make a conscious effort to be honest with people when you commit to someone. It has to start somewhere; it should start with you! So remember, be considerate, because you know that you deserve that same consideration.

Until next time.

Do you go into situations with a positive outlook or a negative one? How you approach the different situations that arise in your life can make a difference in which outcome you generally get.

Have you ever heard of those people that consistently get crappy results for all their efforts in life? They are not really living life; they are just in “automatic pilot” mode. They will continue to get those unwanted results until they realize that they have the power to control most outcomes in their lives.

I have met people that have lost children, took their mourning time and continued to live life. Keeping their memory alive, but not letting them take their lives down or spin out of control.

This is your choice; do I continue to make the rest of my life the best it can be or do I live in misery? I have met MANY people that choose to live in misery without facing such dramatic things in their lives. My recommendations are that if you CHOOSE to stay positive and keep looking forward in every situation you come across in your daily grind, then you can live the life you want.

Make the best of everything that comes your way. If it stinks, look for the lesson in the event. Every experience you have in life is a lesson to be learned. You have the choice to find the lesson or just complain about the result you did not want in your life. IT’S YOUR CHOICE.

Until next time.

Well, we hope you did your 7 days of listing your time usage. You must now review what consumes most of your time. It should be obvious. Now those things that are not too important to you, feel free to move them to non-productive times during the week. Try to evaluate in percentages each section you made to see if you agree on how that time is being spent.

Areas you may have:

– Wake up time
– Time getting dressed
– Breakfast time
– Commute time
– Personal calls
– Productivity time
– Lunchtime
– Personal time
– Fitness time
– Dinnertime
– Leisure time
– Bedtime

Maybe you can make better use of your time, like follow up calls when you are commuting or 30 minutes earlier or later in bedtime to make room for one more thing you REALLY need.

I would really recommend that you evaluate your list with someone who can help you, a coach, a successful friend or if you are brave enough, your boss. Look for someone you admire, respect or is in a better financial or family situation than you are. If you want to grow in a certain area of life you must look for someone who has mastered that area in his or her life that you also wish to master.

My best recommendation is to do this at least once a month because as you grow, you need adjustments. Make this an enjoyable activity or you will dread getting this accomplished every month. Maybe turn on your favorite music, light some candles and some aromatherapy. Make this time about you!

If you need a coach to help you move forward just give us a call at 1+(888) 711-2044.

Until next time.