Are you a martyr? Do you feel sorry for yourself all the time? Do you do things for everyone else around you but not for yourself? Do you feel put upon, stepped on, pushed into a corner? Do you feel forced to do things you don’t want to do?
Do you find yourself asking, “Why does this always happen to me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why me?”
The short answer to “Why me?” is YOU. You allow things to happen to you. You allow people to walk on you. You allow situations and circumstances to dictate your feelings and your actions.
You are giving your power away to everyone and everything around you instead of standing up for yourself.
We do not have control over everything around us, but we do have control over how we react to what happens to us. In fact, we truly don’t have control over anything but ourselves and our reactions. We have the ability to choose how we want to respond and whether we want to give someone or something the power to affect our thoughts, feelings and actions.
The true secret? We should never give anyone or anything control over ourselves. When we stay in charge of our own minds and actions, we are able to be truly in control of everything that we do. This keeps us from feeling like a forever victim.
We all fall onto the self-pity wagon from time to time. We are human. And there are situations that happen that will cause us to feel that way. It’s part of the natural grief cycle. However, what matters is how long you allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself. Staying in a constant state of self-pity is neither healthy nor productive. You will never achieve anything that you want to achieve if you are always playing the “Why me?” game.
You are not a victim. No matter what happens to you, you have power in the situation, if you choose not to give it away.
Stop the cycle of martyrdom. Stop the cycle of feeling sorry for yourself. Stop making excuses for why you are acting or feeling the way you do. If you are not happy with what you are doing, then change it. You are never stuck in any situation. There is always a choice. Find it and choose again. You have the power.
Live Life,
Bert Oliva