A few summers ago, my family and I were on vacation in Venice and my then 14-year-old daughter got up in front of a crowd of complete strangers and sang a song. Not so well, I might add. But the fact that she did it, unprompted, and completely unabashedly, made everyone in the crowd cheer for her. I could not have been a prouder father had she been graduating from Harvard Law Summa Cum Laude. Why? Because she was completely herself and was shining at her brightest.
It seems ironic as we age and technically “come to know ourselves” more we actually lose a lot of ourselves to shame and shyness. With responsibilities and bills, so-called “respectfulness” and “propriety” seem to set in. We start worrying about “who might see” and “what will they think.”
Who is this amorphous “they”? Who is this all-knowing judge sitting at the sidelines of our lives judging every step we take?
Everyone judges everyone. All of the time. And honestly, most of the time, when people are judging you it is because they are jealous that you had the guts to go out and do something they did not. So, if you’re going to be judged anyways, shouldn’t you at least have fun?
Oftentimes, the biggest judge is actually us. We hold ourselves back because we are embarrassed or we don’t want to make fools of ourselves. But how often do we hold ourselves back from having the time of our lives?
I am an incredibly shy person. A shy professional speaker might seem like an oxymoron, but it’s the truth. In my everyday doings, I am quiet and reserved. So when I saw my daughter singing to the world with all her might, not only was I proud of her, she taught me something. She reminded me that the most important part of life is enjoying it. And you truly can not enjoy it if you are always worrying what other people think. Just be yourself and sing loud and proud. Those who love you will love you more, and those who judge you will be jealous of the fun you’re having.
PowerTools™
1)The next time you immediately find yourself saying “No” to an opportunity even though somewhere inside you want to say “Yes,” take a moment to breathe.
2) Ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen if I say ‘Yes’?” Usually, the so-called consequences are not much. Perhaps a little embarrassment, if that.
3) Now ask yourself “Will I regret it tomorrow if I say ‘No’?” Life is too short for regret. If you will have even a little regret tomorrow, you should definitely take a chance and go for it.
Live Life,
Bert Oliva