Bert Oliva

How Are You?

By Bert Oliva

16
SEP
0

“How are you?” How often do you hear that question throughout the day? How often do you ask it? When was the last time you answered truthfully or really listened?

“How are you?” has become synonymous with “Hello.” In fact, there have been times when I have asked someone how they are and when they start to tell me truthfully, I find myself internally rolling my eyes. Don’t they know they’re just supposed to say “Good and you?” It’s not the beginning of a conversation. It’s just a polite interaction. Right?

Why? Why is it that we can’t take five minutes out of our oh-so-busy lives to truly find out how another person is doing? To connect on a human-to-human level and just listen?

Every single person on this earth craves human connection. In fact, babies get sick if they do not have enough human contact. The same goes with adults. We all need to truly connect with other people. Face to face. Hand to hand. Heart to heart.

I love to travel. One of my favorite things about traveling used to be meeting new people on the airplane. The next time you go to the airport, or anywhere that you have to wait for a bit, look around. It will be hard to find even a single person without some kind of device in their hands. You’ll see even less people engaged in face-to-face conversations.

Though our modern-day gadgets make it simple to get in touch with someone, they keep us out of touch at the same time. Social media is a fantastic way to keep in touch with people and to build new connections, but it is also easy to fall into talking more than you listen. So often it seems we are more concerned with posting that great pic before we forget the funny caption or replying to someone’s status first, than actually having substance to our interactions. Though social media is virtual, the connections can be very real and very valuable, if you invest the time in them.

It’s important to invest time in every relationship. However, in today’s world, it is all too easy to fall into the “too busy” and “I don’t have time” traps. Everyone is busy. Everyone has a lot of stuff to do, but everyone also needs to hear “How are you?” from someone truly ready to listen to them once in awhile too.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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The Path Less Traveled

By Bert Oliva

18
AUG
0

In today’s world of texts, Snapchats, Instagrams, and so much more, communication time has been reduced to microseconds. Everything we do nowadays is at such a fast and furious pace we hardly have time to breathe or take time to make decisions.

Moreover, in this day of instant communication and instant gratification, our patience level on a whole has been greatly reduced. At least I know it has been for me. When I was younger, I enjoyed waiting for letters in the mail; now email is too slow and if you haven’t responded to my text within a minute or two, I’m annoyed and wondering if something is wrong. Can you relate to this feeling?

I think a lot of this high-speed philosophy of our modern age has also seeped into the way we work and the way we think about work. Oftentimes, I find myself thinking, “There has to be an easier way. A way of less resistance. One where I can get what I want now and I don’t have to work for it.” And the truth of the matter is, in today’s world where nearly every ounce of humankind’s knowledge is available to us from a single mobile search, there probably is. At least, there’s a shortcut to seeming like we’ve gotten to where we want to go.

For instance, there is so much knowledge out there on being a great soccer player, that I could easily learn the terminology, the plays, and even some of the theory behind the sport in probably a matter of a week. But sounding like a soccer player won’t give me the ability to actually play the game as months, or better yet years, of physical practice and whole-hearted dedication will.

The path of least resistance is not always the best option. In fact, it usually isn’t. Not when it comes to something that truly matters; something that we want to master. Though you can gain knowledge at an instant, it is only through true experience and personal application of that knowledge that we master it and it becomes our own.

QUOTE THIS: “If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” -Frank Clark



PowerTools™
1) The next time you find yourself wanting something to be easier, ask yourself if what you are trying to achieve is worth having. Is it something you truly want?

2) If this is something you truly want, then envision yourself achieving it. Close your eyes or write down in your journal exactly how you will feel and where you will be when you achieve it. Will you feel accomplished? Will you be proud? Will all of your hard work have paid off? Who will be with you? Make this vision as complete as it possibly can be for yourself.

3) Now that you have this complete vision of this goal, is this a place that you can get to instantaneously or by taking shortcuts? Even if you could skip ahead and be there already, would the accomplishment feel the same without all the hard work that went into it? Realize that the only way it will truly become your achievement and a worthwhile one is through your hard work and persistence, take a deep breath, and then take one more step toward your goal. You will get there. And the accomplishment will be all yours.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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This Is The Week!

By Bert Oliva

11
AUG
0

This is the week where the relationships you have wanted to rekindle or strengthen start happening.

This is the week where you are opening your eyes and viewing things in a way you have not in a very long time.

All success begins with a positive mindset. If you are not in a positive mindset, you are setting yourself up for failure and a lot of pain and disappointment. Stop. Make this your week.

I read an article recently by Marwan Jamal entitled “10 Things Highly Productive People Don’t Do.” It’s an excellent read. Though I love the entire list, my favorite is “3. They don’t sabotage themselves.” Everyone is human and everyone is not “perfect” or as productive as they can be every day. The difference between highly productive people and less productive people is that those who are highly productive do not beat themselves up over their mishaps. They simply focus on the positive and move forward.

This is the kind of positive mindset we should all strive for this week. Stop self-sabotaging. Stop focusing on the bad and start focusing on what is coming to you this week. Foster a deep belief within yourself that everything is coming together for you. Focus on what you are attracting. The good things, events, and people that are coming into your life. This is your week.

PowerTools™
1) Train Your Brain: One of my favorites tools that I use personally to help me focus on the positive and keep my mind open to attracting the good things in life are affirmations. An affirmation is a positive phrase you repeat to yourself which describes how you want to be. The idea behind this is that you focus your mind on these positive thoughts, curbing your negative thoughts. And the more you focus on these positive thoughts, the more you will attract positivity into your life. Make a list of three affirmations for yourself. They can be as simple as “This is my week,” “I am confident,” etc.

2) Write It Down: Write these affirmations down on at least 3 cards and place them in various areas where you will see them often: your bathroom mirror, in your car, in your desk drawer at work, etc.

3) Repetition is Key: Every time you see one of these cards, repeat your affirmations to yourself. If possible, repeat them out loud. Our words are incredibly powerful. And the words we speak aloud even more so. Every time you speak your affirmations, feel yourself already acting or being what is on your card. Know that you are attracting positivity in your life.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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Words To Live By

By Bert Oliva

28
JUL
1

Times are tough. Everyone is struggling with something. Bills. Illness. Stress. So much more.

All of these things linger in the backgrounds of our minds and cause us to second-guess ourselves. They distract us and shake our faith.

This loss of faith can be very subtle. You keep taking every step. Making every call. Doing everything you are supposed to do, but not with the right energy, so you don’t get the right results. Subconsciously, you’re waiting to fail. You’re self-sabotaging.

Worse yet, these background distractions aren’t going anywhere. There will always be another bill, another to-do, another unwelcomed surprise.

It’s time to change our focus from the background to the foreground. It’s time for each of us to come from a united knowing, an absolute certainty, that utter success, stability, and everything else we each want is coming to us.

Instead of questioning why you are here in this place and what you did to deserve this, look at it from the other perspective. It’s amazing where you are right now. Look at everything you have accomplished. Look at the skills you have polished and learned.

The fact that you have survived everything you have gone through, especially with all of your self-doubt, is amazing and speaks to your character and also to God’s plan for you. Lesser people would have given up by now.

Stop making excuses and stop looking for quick fixes. Create your goal, one single goal, and focus on it. Do it positively, with certainty, and without doubt, and you will achieve it.

Work on creating an atmosphere of positivity around you, of attracting success. Start looking at each of your tasks not as stresses, burdens, or futile things that won’t work, but rather as building blocks—stairs that you are climbing to bring success in.

Now is not the time for hope. It’s the time for faith. Faith in the world, in your team, in yourself. Failure is not even a possibility.

PowerTools™
1) Write down what is in the background of your mind. Any worries or stresses your subconscious mind may be putting attention to. Oftentimes simply writing down what is on your mid will bring you clarity and help you to realize not everything is as bad as you have made it out to be.

2) If there is anything that you can do to lessen the burden of these worries, do it. Stop putting it off. Take action. If you can not take action right now, allow yourself to put these items on hold for the moment. Do not put any attention towards them until you have accomplished what you need to do today.

3) Now that your background distractions are literally out of your mind, it’s time to focus on the here and now. What do you need to do today? Do not set yourself up for failure. If you have been struggling to accomplish all of the tasks you have set for yourself each day, cut down the number of tasks, etc. Or split larger tasks into to smaller, easier tasks. This will set you up to achieve, which will put you in a positive state of mind.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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Time To Say Yes!

By Bert Oliva

21
JUL
0

How often do you say “No” to things? Truly? How many times have people invited you to do something or go somewhere and you have turned them down? “No” seems to be the go-to answer for most people nowadays.

I recently realized that I have ended up in a bit of a rut. Friends or family would ask me to do things and I would not go. Not because I had other plans but because I just did not feel like it. In fact, at least for me, there have been times when I find myself saying “No” in my mind before I have even finished hearing a person out. Our lives are so rushed with family, work, and other obligations that our subconscious mind wants to protect us from more exhaustion and says “No” before we really give the situation any thought.

It’s okay to not say “Yes” to every invitation. And it’s okay to listen to your inner self when something is telling you that you do not feel like doing something. However, everything must be done in moderation. And if you want to grow, it’s important to push yourself outside your comfort zone on a regular basis. And I had not been doing that. I had gotten too comfortable in my same old routine. I had gotten lazy. I had gotten stuck in the “No” mindset.

So, this past weekend I got invited to a family party. And, surprise, I did not want to go. However, I pushed past those feelings. I pushed myself to get dressed and join my family at this celebration. And you know what? I had a lot of fun! I reconnected with people I had not seen in ages. And I met some new people. It felt great to be out of my regular routine with people I love and seeing everyone have fun. Being outside my routine also recharged me and got me excited for the week ahead.

So, the next time you find yourself saying “No,” ask yourself why you are saying it. Do you have legitimate reasons? Or have you simply gotten too comfortable in your routine? If you just “don’t feel like it,” push past that. Take the invitation. Take the opportunity. Take the chance. You never know who you will meet, where you may end up, or what creativity might be stimulated inside you. Go ahead, say “Yes”!

PowerTools™
1) This week, do not say “No” to any invitation, unless you have other plans. This is a “Yes” week!

2) After each event or invitation that you take this week, analyze it a bit. What positives came out of it? What would you have missed had you said “No”?

3) Whenever you “don’t feel like” doing something, take a moment to figure out where that feeling is coming from. Does it have merit? Have you been working really hard lately, etc.? Or are you just too comfortable and don’t want to push yourself out of your comfort zone? If that’s the case, then it’s the perfect time for growth and to say “Yes.”



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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Better By Mistake

By Bert Oliva

7
JUL
0

“Mistake” is a bad word in a lot of people’s minds. A lot of people seem to think they are meant to do everything perfectly all of the time and get very angry with themselves and others when they make mistakes. When I was younger, I had no patience for anyone’s mistakes, even my own.

However, mistakes happen. We all make them. No matter how perfect we each think we are or how perfectly we believe we are doing things, there are times when we will make mistakes. It’s just part of life. In fact, the word “mistake” by its very definition means an unintentional error.

The real question is whether we learn from our mistakes. Do you find yourself making the same mistake over and over again? If so, that is because you have yet to learn the lesson from that mistake. Whenever I make a mistake now, I take time to analyze it. To figure out exactly what happened and what the lesson I needed to learn from it was. More often than not, the lesson I have learned is usually a very good one and/or causes me to change directions in something I am working on that leads to a much better, yet unexpected result.

My personal rule is that I only get upset with my mistakes if I repeat them. That simply means I have not taken the time to figure out exactly where I went wrong to begin with. We all make mistakes, it’s whether we learn from our mistakes or not that determines our own

PowerTools™
1) The next time you make a mistake, stop for a moment. If you are the type of person who beats yourself up over your mistakes, pause. Breathe and remind yourself that mistakes happen. If you are the type of person who does not give one thought to your own mistakes and who keeps moving at a million miles per second, pause as well. Breathe and fully take in the mistake you have made just for a moment.

2) Regardless of your personality, take a minute and write down the mistake you just made, preferably in your journal. If you have the time at the very moment, write down the circumstances and what you may have done in error to cause that mistake. If you do not have the time, go back to this page in your journal that same evening and write about the mistake. Analyze what you could have done better, where your mistake was and what you are meant to learn from it. Did the mistake cause you to realize something you would not have otherwise? Did it show you something you had been overlooking? Every mistake has a message. Find it.

3) Now that you know the lesson from your mistake, let yourself off the hook. Realize that blame is not a helpful emotion. Instead, work on your awareness so that you do not repeat your same mistake.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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Not How I Planned It!

By Bert Oliva

3
JUN
0

What do you do when things do not go as planned? When your car breaks down or you get a phone call that changes your plans for the day? Do you get angry? Do you get frustrated? Or do you take the situation for what it is and keep moving forward?

We’re all human. We all get frustrated and annoyed at times, especially when plans fall through or change due to circumstances beyond our control. The question is, how long do you feel that way? Do you allow yourself to feel your initial reaction to the situation and then continue with you day in whatever way it turns out to be? Or do you allow your initial reaction to control how the rest of your day goes?

If you tend to do the second one, you are not alone. However, that also means there is still work to be done. If you work on going with the flow more and not allowing situations and circumstances to upset you, you will have more happier and fulfilling moments throughout your life.

Remember, the one thing in life that is constant is change. One of my favorite sayings in life
is “We plan, God laughs.” So, the next time plans don’t go your way, go ahead and laugh along with him. It’s much more fun.

PowerTools™
1) The next time something happens that changes your plans, give yourself one minute to feel your initial reaction. Whether it be frustration, annoyance, anger, etc., everything goes for one minute. If you can, write down your feelings or let them out in another form for that minute.

2) Once that minute is up, it’s time to change your state. For at least 30 seconds, do something totally out of your norm to get yourself out of your mood. Do some jumping jacks, dance, sing your favorite song, etc. Do something that will get your mind off your emotions.

3) Now that you’re back in the driver’s seat of your emotions, look for the positive. What’s the benefit of having your meeting cancelled this morning? Do you have more time to prepare? If your significant other has to miss your special date tonight, that gives you time to spend with you, etc. It may be small and require thinking out of the box, but every negative truly has a positive. Find yours.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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Identity Crisis

By Bert Oliva

21
APR
0

Are you an identity thief? Do you have multiple identities that you slip into depending on whom you’re around? Are you the good boy or girl with your parents while you’re the stern scary boss at work or the outgoing fun one when you’re out with your friends?

How many different personas do you have in your wallet? How often do you switch between them throughout the day? Do you even know which one is the true you anymore? Or are you in an identity crisis?

It’s time for you to be you and be the best you, you can be. Stop allowing society, circumstances, and the people around you to dictate who you are and what you do. Life is too short to live under the restrictions of other people’s expectations.

Throw out those false identities and half-truths. Just be you. Those people that matter and are true friends will respect and love you more. And you will be happier than you ever knew possible.

PowerTools™
1) Who are you? Write down who you are, what you stand for. Write this using the third person to help you get distance from yourself and the most out of the exercise. (For instance, instead of me writing “I am a…,” I would write “Bert is a…”)

2) Realize this “definition” of you that you just wrote down is fluid. It will change as you grow. Go back to this definition and refine it often. Each time will give you a clearer picture of yourself.

3) Whenever you find yourself in a situation where you are tempted to slip back into an old persona, look at your definition. Ask, “What would this person do in this situation?” Do it.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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The Ride Of Your Life

By Bert Oliva

14
APR
0

In today’s world, we’re never satisfied. We want what we want and we want it yesterday. Immediate gratification seems to be the motto of the modern world. Why wait when you can have it now?

However, anything truly worth having is worth waiting for. It takes six months to create a Rolls Royce, while it only takes 13 hours to create a Toyota. Both are vehicles that will get you form point A to point B, but which will give you the quality of travel you want?

If you want the “Rolls Royce” experience in all aspects of your life, you have to work towards it daily. And you have to be patient. Good things take time and this time is necessary to prepare your mindset for what is coming to you so that you can have long-term results. If you get things before you are mentally prepared, you are much more likely to lose or damage those things. For instance, if you get a Rolls Royce before you have learned how to take care of it, you may damage it even before you get to truly enjoy it.

So, take this time to prepare yourself. Study what you know is coming to you. Prepare yourself for the lifestyle you are building towards. Realize that you are on your path for the long run and know that good things are on their way.

PowerTools™
1) Create a clear vision of what it is that you are pushing towards; write it down or create a collage of pictures, whatever works best for you.

2) Write a contract with yourself, telling yourself what it is you are working towards and committing to yourself that you will be patient and keep pushing towards your goal, no matter what happens.

3) Whenever you are doubting, review your vision and contract and remind yourself that you will not quit until you have achieved what you are working towards.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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Shameless

By Bert Oliva

4
APR
0

A few summers ago, my family and I were on vacation in Venice and my then 14-year-old daughter got up in front of a crowd of complete strangers and sang a song. Not so well, I might add. But the fact that she did it, unprompted, and completely unabashedly, made everyone in the crowd cheer for her. I could not have been a prouder father had she been graduating from Harvard Law Summa Cum Laude. Why? Because she was completely herself and was shining at her brightest.

It seems ironic as we age and technically “come to know ourselves” more we actually lose a lot of ourselves to shame and shyness. With responsibilities and bills, so-called “respectfulness” and “propriety” seem to set in. We start worrying about “who might see” and “what will they think.”

Who is this amorphous “they”? Who is this all-knowing judge sitting at the sidelines of our lives judging every step we take?

Everyone judges everyone. All of the time. And honestly, most of the time, when people are judging you it is because they are jealous that you had the guts to go out and do something they did not. So, if you’re going to be judged anyways, shouldn’t you at least have fun?

Oftentimes, the biggest judge is actually us. We hold ourselves back because we are embarrassed or we don’t want to make fools of ourselves. But how often do we hold ourselves back from having the time of our lives?

I am an incredibly shy person. A shy professional speaker might seem like an oxymoron, but it’s the truth. In my everyday doings, I am quiet and reserved. So when I saw my daughter singing to the world with all her might, not only was I proud of her, she taught me something. She reminded me that the most important part of life is enjoying it. And you truly can not enjoy it if you are always worrying what other people think. Just be yourself and sing loud and proud. Those who love you will love you more, and those who judge you will be jealous of the fun you’re having.

PowerTools™
1)The next time you immediately find yourself saying “No” to an opportunity even though somewhere inside you want to say “Yes,” take a moment to breathe.

2) Ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen if I say ‘Yes’?” Usually, the so-called consequences are not much. Perhaps a little embarrassment, if that.

3) Now ask yourself “Will I regret it tomorrow if I say ‘No’?” Life is too short for regret. If you will have even a little regret tomorrow, you should definitely take a chance and go for it.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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