Regret is a word spoken often but rarely truly contemplated. So often we glide past our regrets because if we truly take a moment to look at them, we will have to feel the feelings that go along with them—the disappointment, the longing, the embarrassment, and of course the regret. These emotions can be utterly overpowering and draining. It seems to be an innate characteristic to want to avoid these pain causing feelings so we bundle all of our regrets in a tightly sealed box and store it in the back of our most-cluttered closet and keep it there with the patent statement “I have no regrets.”
In the broadest sense, I have no regrets and neither should you. Everything that has happened—good or bad—everything that you have or haven’t done—good or bad—every single minute detail of your life has brought you this very moment, has made you who you are, and you should like who you are. You are exactly where you are meant to be at this moment.
However, regardless of the beautiful truth in the previous paragraph, I do have regrets. And so do you. And so does everyone else. There are things that now looking back on I would have handled differently if I knew then what I know now. There are things I wouldn’t have said or chosen to do. And though these regrets are threads in my tapestry of life, partly responsible for making me who I am, I still have twinges of regret for some of my actions and choices. And my initial reaction is to run and hide from my regrets. But those nagging regrets stay there. No matter where you try to hide them, they come back stronger until you address them.
Regardless of how hard your regrets are, you must take the time to examine them to ensure you understand how you got here. And to ensure that you don’t keep making the same choices that will build up even more regrets. Moreover, by examining your regrets, you will be able to come to terms with them and put them to rest finally. They will no longer be the monster in the back of your closet. They will simply be your past that got you to where you are and your motivation to keep pushing yourself harder to ensure that you don’t have more regrets in the future.
Live Life,
Bert Oliva