This weekend, I took my family boating in the Florida Keys. The sun was shining and it was a gorgeous day. The water was a little choppy but not too bad. I got behind the helm and headed to the turquoise blue waters of the shallow sand bar a ways off the shore. When we got there, one of my passengers had turned green. She was terribly seasick.
As I helped her get a life vest on to get herself into the water and find her equilibrium, I jokingly said, “So you don’t have your sea legs huh?” I even filmed her and joked about it. It was all in good fun and she was a good sport though she was so ill.
Soon after, I got in the water to swim for a bit myself. When I got out and back on the boat, my world start spinning and my stomach started doing flip flops. I could not stop it if I tried. It took all my concentration not to lose my lunch. I felt helpless and dizzy. After all the years of me driving boats, I had my first experience with seasickness myself.
This story is a prime example of a phrase I use often: “Don’t Spit Up.” It means not to say something that may come back at you later. I definitely “spit up” when I toyed with my loved one over her pain. I didn’t do anything really hurtful or mean. Our relationship has always been one of jokes, but I personally had never experience seasickness before. I did not realize just how intense it can be and how quickly it can overtake you.
I truly try my best not to rush to judgment of others (though I do slip up from time to time), because you really can’t make a call on someone else’s situation. You really can not know what another person is feeling or experiencing, until you walk a mile in their shoes yourself. So, it’s best not to make a quick judgment call unless you have all the facts. I’m not saying you need to always have first hand experience in order to empathize with another person, but whenever possible, you should at least take the time to imagine yourself in their place. Imagine what they are feeling and thinking. And, whenever possible, simply ask them.
When you rush to judgment, you run a greater risk of “spitting up.” And remember, what goes up, has to come down, and it may just come back down on you.
Live Life,
Bert Oliva