I lost my cool today. One person pushed my buttons all day today and I finally just bit back. There are tons of excuses I can make for myself and my diminished patience. Lack of sleep. A head cold that’s been plaguing me. The way the person was treating me all day. Etc.
But none of those excuses make me feel better about my behavior. Justifying my behavior does not make my behavior any better or any less demeaning. I was hurtful. And no matter what is happening around us, there is no reason for us to be hurtful.
Normally, I just take a step back and take some time away from a situation that is making me uncomfortable. I’m truly not sure why I did not tonight, but this experience is a good reminder to me that we always have more growth to do and that we are all human. No matter how much growth we do, there will be times when we lose our cool and when we are not proud of our behavior. The point of growth is to minimize these occasions though.
The point of growth is also to be able to look at a situation after the fact where you may not have behaved at your best and learn from it. What could you do differently? What were the events that happened—the triggers—that lead up to you losing your cool? Being able to analyze a situation and find what lead up to your behavior will help keep you from doing it again.
Another aspect of growth is not beating yourself up over past mistakes. Yes, I let a situation get the best of me today, but what can be accomplished from me sitting here berating myself for hours after the fact? Isn’t it much more productive to just admit that you had a misstep and review what happened so that you can avoid it in the future? That’s what I believe.
I believe that life is about learning from your missteps, and growing and changing. I believe it is not about being perfect, but rather being willing to admit that you are imperfect. Being able to see where you want to get to, not just with your career or family, but personally. Deciding the type of person you want to be in your life and figuring out a path to get there. Taking the time to take hard looks at your own behavior, admitting when you don’t like what you see, and making the appropriate choices and taking the steps to change it.
So, who do you want to be?
Live Life,
Bert Oliva