Bert Oliva

Better By Mistake

By Bert Oliva

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“Mistake” is a bad word in a lot of people’s minds. A lot of people seem to think they are meant to do everything perfectly all of the time and get very angry with themselves and others when they make mistakes. When I was younger, I had no patience for anyone’s mistakes, even my own.

However, mistakes happen. We all make them. No matter how perfect we each think we are or how perfectly we believe we are doing things, there are times when we will make mistakes. It’s just part of life. In fact, the word “mistake” by its very definition means an unintentional error.

The real question is whether we learn from our mistakes. Do you find yourself making the same mistake over and over again? If so, that is because you have yet to learn the lesson from that mistake. Whenever I make a mistake now, I take time to analyze it. To figure out exactly what happened and what the lesson I needed to learn from it was. More often than not, the lesson I have learned is usually a very good one and/or causes me to change directions in something I am working on that leads to a much better, yet unexpected result.

My personal rule is that I only get upset with my mistakes if I repeat them. That simply means I have not taken the time to figure out exactly where I went wrong to begin with. We all make mistakes, it’s whether we learn from our mistakes or not that determines our own

PowerTools™
1) The next time you make a mistake, stop for a moment. If you are the type of person who beats yourself up over your mistakes, pause. Breathe and remind yourself that mistakes happen. If you are the type of person who does not give one thought to your own mistakes and who keeps moving at a million miles per second, pause as well. Breathe and fully take in the mistake you have made just for a moment.

2) Regardless of your personality, take a minute and write down the mistake you just made, preferably in your journal. If you have the time at the very moment, write down the circumstances and what you may have done in error to cause that mistake. If you do not have the time, go back to this page in your journal that same evening and write about the mistake. Analyze what you could have done better, where your mistake was and what you are meant to learn from it. Did the mistake cause you to realize something you would not have otherwise? Did it show you something you had been overlooking? Every mistake has a message. Find it.

3) Now that you know the lesson from your mistake, let yourself off the hook. Realize that blame is not a helpful emotion. Instead, work on your awareness so that you do not repeat your same mistake.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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Bert Oliva

Not How I Planned It!

By Bert Oliva

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What do you do when things do not go as planned? When your car breaks down or you get a phone call that changes your plans for the day? Do you get angry? Do you get frustrated? Or do you take the situation for what it is and keep moving forward?

We’re all human. We all get frustrated and annoyed at times, especially when plans fall through or change due to circumstances beyond our control. The question is, how long do you feel that way? Do you allow yourself to feel your initial reaction to the situation and then continue with you day in whatever way it turns out to be? Or do you allow your initial reaction to control how the rest of your day goes?

If you tend to do the second one, you are not alone. However, that also means there is still work to be done. If you work on going with the flow more and not allowing situations and circumstances to upset you, you will have more happier and fulfilling moments throughout your life.

Remember, the one thing in life that is constant is change. One of my favorite sayings in life
is “We plan, God laughs.” So, the next time plans don’t go your way, go ahead and laugh along with him. It’s much more fun.

PowerTools™
1) The next time something happens that changes your plans, give yourself one minute to feel your initial reaction. Whether it be frustration, annoyance, anger, etc., everything goes for one minute. If you can, write down your feelings or let them out in another form for that minute.

2) Once that minute is up, it’s time to change your state. For at least 30 seconds, do something totally out of your norm to get yourself out of your mood. Do some jumping jacks, dance, sing your favorite song, etc. Do something that will get your mind off your emotions.

3) Now that you’re back in the driver’s seat of your emotions, look for the positive. What’s the benefit of having your meeting cancelled this morning? Do you have more time to prepare? If your significant other has to miss your special date tonight, that gives you time to spend with you, etc. It may be small and require thinking out of the box, but every negative truly has a positive. Find yours.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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