Bert Oliva

What Do You Care?

By Bert Oliva

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Last night, my family and I continued a long-standing tradition for us. We went and bought a Christmas tree—together. My wife brought out reindeer antlers, Santa hats, elf hats, and even a Rudolph’s red nose. Each one of us picked a costume, put it on, piled into our “Swag wagon” and listened to Christmas songs as we drove to the tree place.

When we got there, the person working the front entrance did not want to let us through. She said they were closing soon and could not let anyone else in. We told her how this was an important tradition in our family and how it is so difficult to get all of us together nowadays. After some hemming and hawing, the lady let our crew through.

We quickly picked out a tree and then stood in the long line to have the tree cut and wrapped. As we stood there, we sang Christmas carols and danced together. Though we sang loudly and out of tune, we laughed and danced. We even Facetimed other family members so they could virtually sing and be a part of the experience. The other people in line looked at us very strangely and were annoyed at us at first, but we did not care. We only sang more loudly. By the end of it, however, at least some of them were smiling and even singing along.

My family and I could have given up when we were told the tree place was closed. We could have stopped singing when people first complained. We could have even given up when we didn’t know all the words to the songs. But we didn’t. And when got home half an hour or so later, this year’s tree buying was already one of the best ones yet.

Though numerous obstacles got in our way, my family and I were able to keep our tradition going. Moreover, our laughter and silliness in spite of the looks we first got affected the loved ones we called and even the strangers around us. Our positive energy rippled out and made even the most cynical people present smile for at least a moment. Our persistence gave us one more excellent memory and gave everyone we touched a positive energy boost for a little bit.

This is why traditions are important. They connect you to your roots and keep your loved ones together. They also bring back great memories and help you create new ones. Good traditions will even bring new people together and allow them to enjoy the moments as well. Do not let life or others’ judgments get in the way of your traditions. Fight for them. Sing in spite of those judging around you. They’re going to judge you anyways. You only have this one life, live it your way, and make the memories you want.

Live Life,

Bert Oliva

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Bert Oliva

Don’t Spit Up

By Bert Oliva

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This weekend, I took my family boating in the Florida Keys. The sun was shining and it was a gorgeous day. The water was a little choppy but not too bad. I got behind the helm and headed to the turquoise blue waters of the shallow sand bar a ways off the shore. When we got there, one of my passengers had turned green. She was terribly seasick.

As I helped her get a life vest on to get herself into the water and find her equilibrium, I jokingly said, “So you don’t have your sea legs huh?” I even filmed her and joked about it. It was all in good fun and she was a good sport though she was so ill.

Soon after, I got in the water to swim for a bit myself. When I got out and back on the boat, my world start spinning and my stomach started doing flip flops. I could not stop it if I tried. It took all my concentration not to lose my lunch. I felt helpless and dizzy. After all the years of me driving boats, I had my first experience with seasickness myself.

This story is a prime example of a phrase I use often: “Don’t Spit Up.” It means not to say something that may come back at you later. I definitely “spit up” when I toyed with my loved one over her pain. I didn’t do anything really hurtful or mean. Our relationship has always been one of jokes, but I personally had never experience seasickness before. I did not realize just how intense it can be and how quickly it can overtake you.

I truly try my best not to rush to judgment of others (though I do slip up from time to time), because you really can’t make a call on someone else’s situation. You really can not know what another person is feeling or experiencing, until you walk a mile in their shoes yourself. So, it’s best not to make a quick judgment call unless you have all the facts. I’m not saying you need to always have first hand experience in order to empathize with another person, but whenever possible, you should at least take the time to imagine yourself in their place. Imagine what they are feeling and thinking. And, whenever possible, simply ask them.

When you rush to judgment, you run a greater risk of “spitting up.” And remember, what goes up, has to come down, and it may just come back down on you.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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